{"id":1996,"date":"2017-07-02T20:41:47","date_gmt":"2017-07-02T20:41:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/?p=1996"},"modified":"2017-07-02T20:43:41","modified_gmt":"2017-07-02T20:43:41","slug":"crispy-satire-issue-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/crispy-satire-issue-7\/","title":{"rendered":"CRISPY SATIRE (ISSUE 7)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<!-- WP QUADS Content Ad Plugin v. 1.7.8 -->\n<div class=\"quads-location quads-ad1\" id=\"quads-ad1\" style=\"float:none;margin:0px;\">\n\n <!-- WP QUADS - Quick AdSense Reloaded v.1.7.8 Content AdSense async --> \n\n<script async data-cfasync=\"false\" src=\"\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" data-cfasync=\"false\">\nvar quads_screen_width = document.body.clientWidth;\nif ( quads_screen_width >= 1140 ) {\r\n\/* desktop monitors *\/\r\ndocument.write('<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\" 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[]).push({});\r\n}<\/script>\n\n <!-- end WP QUADS --> \n\n\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>CRISPY SATIRE (ISSUE 7)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>TEACHING YOUR DYING CHILD HOW TO BE A GIRL<br \/>\nby\u00a0Chisom Okafor<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong>You\u2019ll never meet her eyes<\/p>\n<p>because her eyes are tales of a tense<\/p>\n<p>cobra\u2019s body<\/p>\n<p>swollen under a joint spell of massaging palms,<\/p>\n<p>and walking sticks, and tennis bats, and cashew sticks<\/p>\n<p>and joysticks\u2026depending on how long.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Your little girl is as well, a stick, just<\/p>\n<p>she fails to meet the specification<\/p>\n<p>and she isn\u2019t anything short of an unnamable,<\/p>\n<p>hole in a lavatory<\/p>\n<p>labeled \u2018men only\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>The grandpa next-door grinds brown teeth and<\/p>\n<p>tells you that girls should be cloned octopuses<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>because she\u2019s 13, and out of school<\/p>\n<p>and out in a school of hard knocks<\/p>\n<p>and has bus-parks for classes and trailer-drivers<\/p>\n<p>for head boys, and for headmasters, grandfathers<\/p>\n<p>who appear at morning assembly, to convince you<\/p>\n<p>in whispers, how girls became women,<\/p>\n<p>never remained<\/p>\n<p>girls after first penetration<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>you\u2019ll routinely pull her legs apart,<\/p>\n<p>and search and claw and dig,<\/p>\n<p>and read oddities into her insides<\/p>\n<p>until there no longer is resilience in her eyes.<\/p>\n<p>Only vulnerability.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Chisom-Okafor.png\"><img data-attachment-id=\"1259\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/blazing-hot\/chisom-okafor\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Chisom-Okafor.png?fit=598%2C526&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"598,526\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Chisom Okafor\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Chisom-Okafor.png?fit=300%2C264&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Chisom-Okafor.png?fit=598%2C526&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-1259 size-thumbnail\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Chisom-Okafor-150x150.png?resize=150%2C150\" alt=\"Chisom Okafor\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Chisom-Okafor.png?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Chisom-Okafor.png?resize=350%2C350&amp;ssl=1 350w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Chisom-Okafor.png?zoom=2&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Chisom-Okafor.png?zoom=3&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 450w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Chisom Okafor<\/strong> studied Nutrition and Dietetics at University of Nigeria, Nsukka. His poem was second runner-up in the maiden edition of Nigerian Students\u2019 Poetry Prize. He lives in Enugu State, Nigeria.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><strong>THE PARADOX OF JUSTICE&#8230;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>by\u00a0Osuji Charles Chisom\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>They screened off the scene so we<\/p>\n<p>could not see what they saw.<\/p>\n<p>The blood-coated sheet that kissed<\/p>\n<p>the cold floor; and the object of their<\/p>\n<p>study sleeping at a corner \u2013 nude and<\/p>\n<p>Lonely.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>So we let them do what they do best \u2013<\/p>\n<p>hauling her off on a stretch and resting<\/p>\n<p>her on a table in Death&#8217;s room, using<\/p>\n<p>stuffs on her we hate; stuffs like Jagular<\/p>\n<p>tubes, scalpels and\u00a0saws, perhaps, to<\/p>\n<p>pleasure curiosity\u00a0and frustrate the<\/p>\n<p>waiting.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Prior now, at dawn, the sirens had<\/p>\n<p>wailed me out of a million-dollar bed.<\/p>\n<p>And pulled me to my curtains,<\/p>\n<p>and parting, I entered her faculties \u2013<\/p>\n<p>she was the flower that faltered in\u00a0summer;<\/p>\n<p>the lonely moon that pleasured the night sky.<\/p>\n<p>She had groaned\u00a0and moaned like a<\/p>\n<p>latched cow.<\/p>\n<p>Who could have heard her when her<\/p>\n<p>mouth was\u00a0muffled with\u00a0snow and sloe,<\/p>\n<p>And her cheek \u2013 the cleft of beauty \u2013<\/p>\n<p>cuddled\u00a0with cruel kisses?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Lying on the ceiling and looking up the<\/p>\n<p>Floor, she felt light creep out of<\/p>\n<p>her lungs \u2013 like a fatigued millipede \u2013<\/p>\n<p>deserting her to the cold hand<\/p>\n<p>of Death. Oh! How she bowed out of<\/p>\n<!-- WP QUADS Content Ad Plugin v. 1.7.8 -->\n<div class=\"quads-location quads-ad2\" id=\"quads-ad2\" style=\"float:none;margin:0px;\">\n<script async src=\"\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<script>\r\n  (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({\r\n    google_ad_client: \"ca-pub-5983616716487778\",\r\n    enable_page_level_ads: true\r\n  });\r\n<\/script>\n<\/div>\n\n<p>breath, a defeated dawn, handing us<\/p>\n<p>the baton to finish the struggle!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>She expected us to hide under black robes,<\/p>\n<p>clutching briefcases, walking down<\/p>\n<p>the aisle and finding a spot before a<\/p>\n<p>judge to display the law in public eye.<\/p>\n<p>She expected a vigil behind a clustered<\/p>\n<p>desk, our eyes poring over prints like<\/p>\n<p>it was our last day on the job.<\/p>\n<p>She expected much but had little;<\/p>\n<p>our pockets were crazy and tasty.<\/p>\n<p>We are lawyers, bred to uphold <em>Justice.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She knew this and needed this,<\/p>\n<p>but what we offered\u00a0instead<\/p>\n<p>were flowers on her tiny grave.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>We saw her raped in the open field,<\/p>\n<p>cut inside out and sprawled out on<\/p>\n<p>the street like plucked feathers.<\/p>\n<p>All we could do was flash silver teeth,<\/p>\n<p>pop bottles, and dine on gold-plated<\/p>\n<p>tables \u2013 money speaks, Madam.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170415_082108.jpg\"><img data-attachment-id=\"2069\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/crispy-satire-issue-7\/img_20170415_082108\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170415_082108.jpg?fit=189%2C222&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"189,222\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"IMG_20170415_082108\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170415_082108.jpg?fit=189%2C222&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170415_082108.jpg?fit=189%2C222&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-2069 size-thumbnail\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170415_082108-150x150.jpg?resize=150%2C150\" alt=\"IMG_20170415_082108\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Osuji Charles Chisom<\/strong> \u00a0is a final year student of Economics in Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, Anambra State, Nigeria. He believes poetry is the best medium for expressing thoughts and imaginations.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><strong>HOUSES WITH GENERATORS<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> by Obehi Aigiomawu<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Darkness in our bulbs<\/p>\n<p>Darkness on our skins<\/p>\n<p>Nightfall, stingy with the breeze<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Big round moon above<\/p>\n<p>And I, a solitary watcher<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Our phone batteries are dead<\/p>\n<p>Houses with generators<\/p>\n<p>Have become<\/p>\n<p>More attractive than the moon<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170702_160510_480.jpg\"><img data-attachment-id=\"2068\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/crispy-satire-issue-7\/img_20170702_160510_480\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170702_160510_480.jpg?fit=768%2C836&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"768,836\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"IMG_20170702_160510_480\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170702_160510_480.jpg?fit=276%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170702_160510_480.jpg?fit=768%2C836&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-2068 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170702_160510_480-276x300.jpg?resize=276%2C300\" alt=\"IMG_20170702_160510_480\" width=\"276\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170702_160510_480.jpg?resize=276%2C300&amp;ssl=1 276w, https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_20170702_160510_480.jpg?w=768&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 276px) 100vw, 276px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>Obehi Aigiomawu<\/strong> is a final year student of English and Literature at the University of Benin. When she is not reading, she is either drawing or daydreaming about travelling round the world.\n<!-- WP QUADS Content Ad Plugin v. 1.7.8 -->\n<div class=\"quads-location quads-ad3\" id=\"quads-ad3\" style=\"float:none;margin:0px;\">\n<script async src=\"\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<script>\r\n  (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({\r\n    google_ad_client: \"ca-pub-5983616716487778\",\r\n    enable_page_level_ads: true\r\n  });\r\n<\/script>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>CRISPY SATIRE (ISSUE 7) TEACHING YOUR DYING CHILD HOW TO BE A GIRL by\u00a0Chisom Okafor You\u2019ll never meet her eyes because her eyes are tales&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2069,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[35],"tags":[196,90,379,411,410,114],"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2079,"url":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/pin-quarterly-journal-issue-7-editors-note\/","url_meta":{"origin":1996,"position":0},"title":"PIN QUARTERLY JOURNAL (ISSUE 7): EDITOR'S NOTE","date":"July 2, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"PIN QUARTERLY JOURNAL (ISSUE 7) EDITOR\u2019S NOTE \u00a0 Creativity, like rainfall, could be cyclical; and at certain times, torrential. It has been proven with all issues of the journal that, poetry and monotony have no cause for convergence. This is made possible with the flexible approach adopted in assessment of\u2026","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"Across the Oceans\"","img":{"src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2231,"url":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/crispy-satire-issue-8\/","url_meta":{"origin":1996,"position":1},"title":"CRISPY SATIRE (ISSUE 8)","date":"November 7, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"CRISPY SATIRE (ISSUE 8) TWO POEMS | EBENEZER ADARAMODU ZERRY PREACHER'S DAUGHTER The preacher's daughter has a relic of quid. Her body is an oasis of charade, She quibbles at the stretch of a pyramid. In her mouth, There is a wild city where wild boys Throw stones at the\u2026","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"Crispy Satire\"","img":{"src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1312,"url":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/pin-quarterly-journal-issue-4-editors-note\/","url_meta":{"origin":1996,"position":2},"title":"PIN QUARTERLY JOURNAL (ISSUE 4)","date":"July 10, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"PIN QUARTERLY JOURNAL (ISSUE 4) EDITOR'S NOTE The fourth issue of the PIN Quarterly Journal comes repackaged with assortments of poetic edibles traversing the beauty and inexhaustible richness of poetry. I state with sense of delight and appreciation that the number and quality of submissions received for this edition of\u2026","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"Across the Oceans\"","img":{"src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1996"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2110,"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996\/revisions\/2110"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2069"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poetsinnigeria.org.ng\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}