NAIJA LANGUEJ KONA (ISSUE 7)
MI AND MAI FREND
bai Eriata Oribhabor
Mai frend: Oga Eriata, yu de fo awa said o!
Eriata: Wich said?
Mai frend: A si se yu de fo Afikpo, afta, a kom si se yu enta Enugu. Yu no sabi se na mai said bi dat?
Eriata: A nou se na yo said bot a no nou se yu nou se a de fo yo said.
Mai frend: Yu no nou se a de folo folo yu fo fesbuk?
Eriata: A nou na. No bi tode. Yu na mai korekt pesin fo fesbuk. Na wia yu kom de na? Yu de dis said abi na anoda said yu de?
Mai frend: A de anoda said wen no nia yu at ol. Odawaiz, a fon kom si yu. Yu “trust” na. A fo laik to si yu afta meni meni yez.
Eriata: Na God go bles yu wit im blesin fo dis palm Sunday. Abi yu no ondastand palm Sunday?
Mai frend: Haba! A ondastand wela.
Eriata: Na tru. Na tru.
Mai frend: Hop se evritin de hapun fo Enugu?
Eriata : Yes o! Abeg “wait”. Laik hau?
Mai frend: Laik enjoyment na!
Eriata : Dis ples korekt. Na korekt ples. A go laik to kom bak. A no go lai.
Mai frend: Hop se awa wumen de bihev sha?
Eriata: A no kworel wit enibodi o!
Mai frend: Oga Eriata, no du laik se yu no ondastand mi o!
Eriata : Abeg, na so so rait a jos de rait o! A no get taim to waka raund to si hau una wumen de bihev o!
Mai frend : Ok na… No chop elelon sha!
Eriata : Hahahhahhh! Chop elon na dai elon na.
Mai frend: “Ngwa nu” – Oya na…
***
TINK AUTSAID DI BOX…
bai Eriata Oribhabor
Wetin yu kom de tel mi nau?
Yu se, mi jos de yan autsaid di box?
Na im bi se yu no sabi wetin de hapun fo intanet and di wold. Dem se, if enitin go beta pas beta, pesin most tink autsaid di box. Di box no de box pesin bren. Di box de mek pesin tink laik old skul ol di taim. And wen taim rich fo fowod muvment, pesin go de tok laik im grandpapa.
So, if yu neva sabi wetin bi box and hau to waka komot fo insaid box, kom mek wi de go…
Wetin yu kom de tok wen yu tink se wi neva tok bifo? Na wia yu kom from sef? Na wen yu kom Lagos sef? A de waka mai oun jeje, yu de ask mi se, na wia a de kom from. Na yu get dis “road”?
Yu bi polis man abi yu bi “army” man?
No bi tode a de fo dis Lagos.
Na fo Victoria Island dem “born” mi.
Bifo Fashola enta govament, a don kom Lagos. Bifo Ambode, a don de Lagos.
Na wen yu kom Lagos sef?
Yu drink wetin pas yu?
Abeg, kari yo oun de go…
Wetin yu wan hia wen yu neva hia bifo? Yu don hia am plenti taims… Na hau dem tek tel yu, na im difren from hau a tek de tel yu. Evri “teacher” get im “style”. Put yo maind and bodi fo wetin a wan tok. Put yo evritin fo dis tori…so dat,
yu sef go get beta tori to tok to yo frend and pikin dem.
Wetin yu de hia wen yu neva hia bifo?
Yu don si mami wota bifo? Yu don waka jam spirit bifo? Yu laik to ste insaid di box of laif, oo yu wan si evri-evri of di box of di box? Yu stil de fo dia?
Oya, mek wi de go…
Eriata Oribhabor na puet wen de rait fo Naija languej and English Language. Im de du plenti tins abaut hau difren puem go enta evribodi bodi fo Naija.